Diary of a pab, entry 1 

So my maternity leave has ended and yes I am officially back to work , I’m happy to be back , I missed my job ! My first shift was on the Alzheimer’s floor I can say I was nervous, first of all not many want to work on that floor I don’t know why really because I like it I find it interesting I studied Alzheimer’s a lot in my license practical nurse program to have the knowledge to comprehend most of it . I chose not be a nurse after all because I prefer to give patients all my attention although being a nurse is caring and being there also I found that the job was less hands on then being a pab .yes I get to change soiled briefs and pick up puke and find a patient full of stool because they played in their underwear, but on the other hand I also get to comb their hair , feed them and listen to their stories of when they were young and that makes me happy! On my first shift this beautiful lady with her shinny white hair thought she was at her job and she wanned to hire me to help take care of people . She said that her husband and her had a company but he was out of town but soon he will be back and I can work for them . I replied that it would be my honor to work for them , man was she happy , after she went on to her business ( meaning walking up and down the hall ) . My next patient was a man who once was a pharmacist a very tall man I found him sleeping in different beds all night , he didn’t speak a word to me the whole time . Another lady was waiting for her sister all night until I had to let her know she wasn’t coming tonight and I proceeded to get her ready for bed . Then she was trying to remember what her sisters number was so I waited but she couldn’t remember and was getting angry at herself so I Had to change her mind so I told her to tell me about her sister while we were putting her pyjamas on and so she did and proceeded to fall asleep shortly after that . My shift went by pretty fast and I walked out of there feeling awesome and happy with myself . I still see every time I looked at one of my patients the face of my mom, my dad I can’t help but think that one day it might be them in that bed trying to remember or feeling scared because they don’t know where they are and I do hope I can be there for them when that time comes . Working in long term care makes you see that life’s isn’t something that should be taken lightly you should live every moment to the fullest and do what makes you happy because one day you can be that lost soul and life goes by so fast it’s important to know this and to be happy ! 

End of my maternity leave

Oh this dreaded moment has come , I have been looking for solutions of how I can not go back to work but nothing really paid off. Let’s be honest I like a comfortable lifestyle and wouldn’t want it any other way , so I decided it was time to get back to work and help my household financially and so I can save up for a house, God knows I want my country house with a garden , a tree swing and a big yard! 

But I feel like I’m abandoning my kids , why ? Because steryotypes make me feel that way , society makes me feel that way and let’s not hide it the MONSTER in law made me feel that way ! I feel outraged because geez I’m only going to work for 4 days per week and yet, it, the monster in law made me feel like shit ! Why you may ask or wonder ? 

As I broke the news to IT she freaked out , she said and I quote ” how’s my son going to do it ? Hes going to finish work and be so tired and then hes going to have to take care of the kids! ” at that moment i’m thinking to myself how inconsiderent of her , how dare she only thinks of the well being of her son , listen ill’ be tired too genius ! She goes on saying things like I didnt work until the kids went to school and I had a home day care so I can be with them , my husband didnt have to make supper because I was home…… Bla-bla-bla !!! At this point im outraged and tell it hey were not in the 1940’s any more were in 2016 and youre son is not handicaped he will survive , hes not going to die hes just going to learn how to be the man of the house! It rants off about having to go help her son at MY house because it dosent make any sense ….. Shes a nut , I freakin dare it to come at my house and try to control everything as she thinks her way is the best way because thats how it feels about herself ! 

Now because of IT I feel judged because im going back to work when I shouldnt be feeling that way ! I work in a old folks home and that makes me nervous as Hell because I know that some roms will have different people in them some of my favorite patients will be gone to the  otherside and all thought its part of life I cant help but feel worried about what im going to find on my floor ! Circle of life right ? 

After all im excited because I will be getting out the house and having conversations with people who are older than 6 years old (haha) and I will be fufilling my need to help and listen to others needs and feelings and that makes me feel really good ! 
Tiffany Barba 

The girl with the many hats!

Do you ever find yourself wondering what you should be doing or if your in the right place ? I do constantly and I admit that it’s driving me completely nuts! I’m the type of person that has a great idea almost every day , I have ambition , leadership all the qualities it takes to be entrepreneur. Guess what I don’t have ? Money !!!! How the hell are you suppose to create and make things happen if you don’t have the funds to do so ? I really don’t know , how do people do it ? We all have dreams right ? Yet they are different because then we would live in a world that would be very dull and never have new things around to try out! So I’ve been wanting to publish my book problem is who the hell do you choose ? I want to publish with hay house and if you want to do that then you need a publisher, if you want to self publish and want the whole package try having 15,000$ about ! Ok , let’s start a company , you need money for that also! I made a go fund me that didn’t work out very well haha I tried ! The point is our world is made with tons of possibilities and if you mange to have just enough money then your good to go ! I have many hats , I’m good at writing, entrepreneurship, I’m very selfless, smart, honest, silly , good with decorating you get it I wear many hats ! I envy people who just take the opportunity and run with it ! I guess im going to have to do the same and go all in , maybe ill just keep dreaming……its free ! 

The lady with the hat 

Tiffany Barba 

Ebony girl

I saw you ebony girl, the day you were born and cried for the first time I heard you ebony girl , the day you said your first word I felt you ebony girl, the smoothness of your skin and beautiful l…

Source: Ebony girl

Ebony girl

I saw you ebony girl, the day you were born and cried for the first time

I heard you ebony girl , the day you said your first word

I felt you ebony girl, the smoothness of your skin and beautiful locks

I watched you ebony girl, as you took your first step

I cried for you ebony girl, I cried because i knew how unfair the world was towards you

I admired you ebony girl, I admired the way you danced and had a smile that can shine through the darkest room

I heard them ebony girl, I heard them say you were going to be less than , i heard them tell you that you had the wrong skin color

I saw them ebony girl , I saw them judge you when you walked in a room

I envy you ebony girl, despite all the struggles I still see you as strong

I smiled at you ebony girl, I smiled because i knew you were kind and smart

I felt for you ebony girl , when you were treated as a criminal because of your skin color

I listened to you ebony girl , when you stood up for yourself

I stood up for you ebony girl, when you aged and needed a seat

I believed in you ebony girl, I believed you were going to make it in life

I the ivory person , I loved you for whom you were and are

I the ivory person ,knew your skin color didn’t change anything

I the ivory person,I  listened to your cry for change

I the ivory person, replied to stereotypes made about you

I the ivory person, lended you my hand when you were in need

I the ivory person , I did all the same things as you ,i cried , i walked ,i said my first word,i danced but i was given a better chance

we ebony and ivory , are battling against society

we ebony and ivory, we are going to speak the truth

we ebony and ivory, we are going to fight for you

we ebony and ivory, are the same WE are human , we are love, we are strength and we will fight for you to have your best chance as I have had from the first day I was born .

I saw you ebony girl, you are a lawyer, ebony girl you’re a doctor,you’re a scientist, a president , a mother,an educator

you ebony girl, you are me and I am you and we are the world.

 

“I have a dream that one day little black boys and girls will be holding hands with little white boys and girls.”
Martin Luther King Jr., I Have A Dream  http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/23924.Martin_Luther_King_Jr_ 

 

 

Adoption_74973c  written by Tiffany Barba

photo credit: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/

 

Attention ,bras and money

 

 

I became a girl that thought she was the shit , literally , I think my ego could fill up a entire room . Being a girl is already very hard , imagine being a stripper and competing with others it’s all about the looks in a strip club not about your brain! I met one of my best friends in my first year of being a stripper , we have our fare share of stripper stories together. I moved in with her at some point she lived with her grandma , her grandma raised her , a very nice lady she is .  We use to work together from Monday to Saturday we didn’t work on Sunday’s ( laugh) it’s actually a rule sort of for most strippers you don’t work on gods day. I was still with my boyfriend but he had went back to his moms house and I was at my friends house. Me and her we were like partners in crime and every night we would stay up till five am to go have breakfast together and then sleep because we were exhausted . Even though it’s not so glamorous to be a stripper and it’s not something much people talk about I don’t regret a day because it made me learn things and see the world in a different perspective. One time in a strip club I got in a fight with a girl ( another stripper) I think she was maybe 30 years old not sure, I called her a crack head and she got mad because she was a crack user big time. That night after the club she was waiting for me outside with scissors ,she wanned to stab me  my friend had a knife and I kept telling her give it to me, but she wouldn’t she said nothing is going to happen , well when we walked outside she was waiting with the scissors.

 

tiffany barba

A trip down memory lane 

Just a couple days ago you were non-existent in my brain, you once were but you have been absent for 3 years now. I dont know why but i feel sad , I for the first time mourned our break up . I felt It hard , the thought of that baby angel that we didn’t get to meet haunted  me too . Three years have past , i still remember being scared to be a mom so soon , i pushed you away as if you were nothing. I loved you very much and you were everything to me, you made me laugh and took care of me as if i was the most precious thing on earth. I hurt you bad , last year you reached out , your girlfriend had left you , you said you were nothing without me . I listened to what you had to say but i was with someone new so It didn’t affect me more than that. I feel like am cheating because these past days I think about you alot, I feel like I need to reach out and say sorry for the pain ive caused. Your engaged and so am I , I love him very much , but your on my mind . I see the video of what we had and shared, and It makes me all messed up inside. I have been feeling alone in my relationship lately maybe thats what It is, I dont know . Nostalgia has been my biggest weekness in life, and It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I can’t help but feel terrible and again im sorry .

Stay at home mom jobs

Stay at home mom’s , do you wish you can stay home with baby and make money ? I do,with twins I find that it’s going to cost more for me to go work then to stay home . Everything in double if I don’t find a 7$ daycare am screwed , other day cares I know are 25$ a day x2 50$ a day x5 250$ and then x4 it’s 2000$ a month !!!! Hell no ! Am not rich so I went searching on the web to find jobs I can do while being home with the twins and I made a list !
First , you have sale companies, when you distribute products and get people are you’re team and just make money all together : 

It works, it works is company that exists since 2001 last year the have given 175,000,000$ in bonuses to their distributors . They have products like vitamins , skin care creams,aromatherapy , that crazy wrap thing , energy drinks and much more. All their products are natural and plant based , and some are gluten free ! The cost to join depends on where you are from states is : 99$ and you get a whole kit with products , testers , catalogues and much more , Canada comes up to 133$ this also allows you to have your own website . You can get more info on their website : http://www.itworks.com 

  

Epicure , epicure is a business based on eating well and healthy. They sale spices, tea, proteins and kitchen accesories . To join it cost 190$ in total and you get 300$ worth of stuff and you can resale to make your money back , in the kit you get a whole bunch of spices ,catalogues, kitchen ware, order slips,samples, a website and more .  When you start you make 25% of your sales after you can hit 50% of your sales, you can also do at home presentation. Epicure exists since 1997 and is still going strong and keeping moms busy and eating well . Guess what everything is purple i LOVE purple ! 

http://www.epicure.com 

     

Younique, younique is a beauty company that was founded in 2012. This company is really awesome for beauty products , they are known for their 3D fiber mascara. The cost to join is 99$ and you receive 200$ worth of products sample and a website for life. You start out making 20% commission, when you sell $1,000 you move up to 25%, and if you build a team you make up to 30% plus a percentage of your teams sales! When you sell $250 you’ll get a debit card that has your $50 of commission on it and from then on out you’ll get paid 3 hours after every sale that you make!  

http://www.youniqueproducts.com

   

Scentsy, scentsy is a company that sells candies, aromatherphy,home decor, room sprays and much more. This company exists since 2004 also . Representatives must purchase the startup kit to participate in this program, and this startup kit costs $99. The cost for this kit is average compared to other starter packages. For Scentsy Inc’s product, consultants receive a 20% commission for each product they sell. 

   

You can visit : http://www.scentsy.com 
So many companies exist i even saw one where you drink wine hummm that can be cool . Tyra banks also has a company , you have jamberry,toccara,avon, Mary kay and much more . You can also start a blog or become a mom that tests products,write a book , start your own business. Their is something for everyone and with dedication and hard work you can make anything happen. I joined epicure and It works, i actually do get extra income which is nice. 

Why having a baby in 2016 is so annoying 

When we are pregnant we are told what to do what not to do, we get so much doctor appointments that once we give birth we are tired of them ( well I was ) .

When I was pregnant I loved to read and get all the info my brain can handle .i also loved to go on mommy Facebook pages and read what moms thought about certain things , I like to see different opinions ( even if I am very opinionated myself) even if I think the person is being totally mental in her head . In 2016 people are insane , you should basically live in a bubble when your pregnant and that bubble would need it’s air filtered so your unborn baby doesn’t breath toxins or whatever . Now don’t get me wrong am not saying pregnant women should go to the disco and party their life away drink 3 pitchers of beer and fall asleep on a parc bench ( side note i already did , but i was not pregnant and i was 18 ) haha . Now that being said my great grandmother had 3 kids and all three pregnancies she would walk 2 hours to get wood and then bring all the Wood she cut back home on her back . Back then thats what women did , imagine doing that with an infant ! Now days you shouldn’t do much , you should be calm and do the strict minimum. Unless you are having a difficult pregnancy you should walk and move , the world doesn’t stop turning because you’re pregnant.

Social media is good but not good , just last week I saw A girl post that if women don’t breastfeed their babies , they shouldn’t have any . Really?!? So if I can’t breastfeed or simply choose not too I don’t deserve to have a baby , that doesn’t make anybody a bad mother and it’s not child neglect either . Breast is best yes but if that’s something you can’t do or don’t want to do that is ok also . These type of women I like to call them ; breastfeeding natzis , you simply don’t want to bother with these people . 

Every year the rules of taking care of a baby change , now the big thing is baby powder . Now you should not use it your baby might get asthma . Can I say when you put baby powder you shouldn’t be putting it on the baby’s head, ok ! Haha! No really baby powder has been used for years and you should be putting little amounts without it going everywhere , you can even put the powder in the diaper or even lay baby on the tummy and put a little powder, common sense! 

Bumper pads no more ? Really im i the only one that is scared that baby gets his arms stuck between those bars and or hits his head on it ? I dont think so , i have bumper pads for my twins and their not coming down. 

Swaddle baby safe ?!? According to an article i read when swaddling baby you shouldnt put their feet in just their arms. 

I think people are going over the top with all these rules its insane , another reason why i loved my doctor shes down to earth and not psycho ! 
Do you have any weird or funny things people told you when you were pregnant ? 

Breastfeeding and pregnant 

So when I was on my Facebook last week I couldn’t help but notice that a girl had announced her pregnancy . I mean I was happy for her who isn’t but I know she breastfeeds her one year old still . It got me asking myself a lot of questions like is it safe ? How is she going to breastfeed two at once ? So I thought I would do some research since I think it’s interesting to know these things .

So I found that it is perfectly safe to breastfeed while pregnant as long as you eat really well so your unborn baby isn’t deprived of nutrients . So even if you’re finding eating very difficult or having a lot of morning sickness your body will go in overdrive to use all the nutrients possible so you and the baby aren’t deprieved. Once you feel better you will be able to eat a lot of good foods and I mean a lot of it for both of you .

You are going to have too eat for three now so you should be aiming for at least 500-800 extra calories each day ( four servings of protein , and six servings of calcium each day)  don’t forget to drink loads of water , 8 glasses would be enough.

Is it safe?  Breastfeeding while pregnant in most cases will not give you uterine contractions , it should not increase the risk of miscarriage or going into premature labor . Only because the amount of oxytocin normally released when breastfeeding ( oxytocin also stimulates labor ) is not enough to cause the cervix to open prematurely. If you are having a difficult pregnancy or you are at risk for early labor weaning would probably be advisable .

To continue breastfeeding or not while pregnant is you’re decision to make. You might feel more discomfort or may produce less milk , also maybe your child will wean on his or her own because of the change In taste since thecolostrum   comes back .

Either you choose to breastfeed or not it is completely safe to continue doing it as long as your healthy and you are having a risk free pregnancy . 

     

Tiffany barba